Why do we sabotage the things we want?

You want this so much that when it's here, you go ahead and sabotage it. This is your upper limit, and you can change it! (Sept 13th 2026)

Gay Hendricks has written a book that could literally change your life if you allowed yourself to try.

I've been recommending this book for a few years now, but as it came up in my 'listen again' queue on my school run audiobooks, you get the benefit of being reminded of it all, too!

The bits I want to share with you today are two in total.
The first part is about recognising where you're operating from (I will, of course, explain more in a little bit), and the second is about understanding what trauma type is holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Sounds good?

Of course it does! Let's go then!

1. Understanding where you're operating from:
According to Hendricks, there are 4 zones we're likely to be operating from, which help explain how we relate to our abilities, work, and potential:

a) Zone of incompetence:
This includes things we are not very good at, yet other people can do heaps better. For example, fixing your car, doing your accounts, doing research into what appliance to get (this last one is me, 100%!)

b) Zone of competence:
This is where you can do things well enough, but so can other people. In other words, this is something you do, but not necessarily where you truly shine or use your strength. For example, compiling a report at work, or doing the weekly shop (even if you are fantastic at these, so are others, (potentially)

c) Zone of excellence:
These are things you are really quite good at, maybe more so than other people, and maybe good enough to be able to sell or make money from, or be recognised for. The trouble is, this is where most people get trapped, because this is what usually pays the bills and allows their world to keep on going, not necessarily in alignment with what they feel they really came here to do...

d) Zone of genius:
You may have guessed it already, but this is where we really want to spend most of our lives. This zone uses your unique gifts, strengths, abilities, and where you shine the most. This is where you can spend hours and feel the endless energy that comes from being in, and doing what you do, and still be left wanting more. For me, this is the work I do in my deep coaching sessions. (My mum says - How can you be talking with people for so many hours, and I just smile, because there is really nothing quite like it!)

To make a final distinction about the zones: the aim is NOT to get better at the things we are mediocre at, but rather, allow ourselves to find the place we are called to on core levels. Really, it's the only place you want to be in, once you find it for yourself.

Let me pause and mention that the main idea behind The Big Leap is to recognise where we sabotage and compromise in places where we can thrive and grow. This can be at work, in relationships, finance, friendships, personal achievements such as sport or hobbies, etc.

The second bit I want to share is identifying what is behind not fulfilling your full potential. Sure, you may think it's just life getting in your way, but Hendricks helps us see that the things that stop us have roots we can identify and overcome.

2. The four barriers we experience that cause us to stay stuck:

a) Feeling fundamentally flawed:
For me, this sounds the same as feeling not good enough, which, as we know, if identity level belief most of us have in some way or another. When you have a core belief of being fundamentally flawed, success or putting yourself out there can feel unsafe or undeserved.

b) Feeling disloyal or abandoning:
This is the feeling people sometimes recognise, of pulling back so as not to outshine their siblings or others in their family or community. An example I often see in my clients is: 'my parents were poor, so I have to be poor too' (Can't out-perform). Having this kind of barrier will make your efforts be subconsciously capped at the level where you feel safe.

c) Feeling like you're a burden
This is where you feel very unsafe showing up and taking up space, attention, or focus, telling yourself things like: if I ask, people will have to get out of their way to accommodate me, or they will get annoyed... keeping yourself small to make sure you keep the status quo

d) Feeling you must not expand beyond your current success level
Basically, if you feel you're already successful and don't want to push the boat further for fear of failure or that you will appear greedy. Having this barrier means, like the rest of them, that you are capping your success, relationships, finances, etc at what you currently have.

How do you keep yourself from breaking through these barriers:
- stress
- illness
- arguments
- self-doubt
- over-worrying
- overworking
- no enjoyment
- conflict
- distraction
Or anything at all that will mean staying at your current level

What to do instead?
1. Buy the book - The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
2. Get a coach - someone like me, to help you see where your fears and limitations are coming from and how to create a different life for yourself. Life that is lived in your zone of genius more than any of the others!

With love,
einav

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Dottie's Corner

It is true that I am 7 years old, already, but it is also true that there is nowhere else I'd rather be than in my people's laps, or, quite frankly, on them, in any way possible.

It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel loved. I also know they are less likely to get up and fetch things, so in a sense, they are completely mine!

When you find your people, make sure they know it, too!

Ways to work with me


Heart Wall - half-hour session	Untangle & Realign: 2-hour 1:1 session	Holistic Transformation & Healing Mastery Summit
If you're tired of feeling tired, exhausted, unloved, or like everything you do is an effort, there is something you can do about it! Most people have a heart wall - made out of trapped emotions, hanging on to dear life trying to protect you. In a Heart Wall clearing session, we clear trapped emotions from this life, previous lives and also those which were passed down to you from your ancestors, or others.	A two-hour space to step out of the noise, understand what’s really going on beneath the surface, and begin letting go of what’s been holding you back. These two hours are deep and freeing, and part conversation, part healing. You may leave with a new understanding of yourself, a shift in perspective, and a sense that things don’t have to stay the way they are.	The featured talks are: • Dr Beverly Lawrence: How Change Moves Through the System: Soul, Mind, Nervous System, Body, Life • Christine Breese: How to Navigate Reality by Changing the Inner Universe • einav avni: Live Beyond the Fears That Are Holding You Back • Veronica Kelly: Safety is the Special Sauce to Lasting Transformation Saturday, Sep. 19th

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I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x