The science of productive worrying

What if by changing how you do 'worrying' you could actually create a better life for yourself? (May 24th 2026)

A few weeks ago, I told you about the new book of Nir Eyal - Beyond Belief, where he brings fantastic arguments about the power of belief and how you can change many aspects of life when you learn how to access and change your beliefs. (A fantastic book, you should definitely consider reading or listening to it.)

Yesterday, I got towards the end of the book when I heard Nir say that 'positive thinking' can be more harmful than helpful. WHAT?! I said to myself, and as I was driving and couldn't very well argue with the book, I continued listening. The next part explained that positive thinking in itself is not a bad thing, but it's a better question to examine how we use it.

He says (and I am paraphrasing) that when we use positive thinking to imagine we've already achieved something, research has shown that in many cases, people use this new 'belief' to mean they take less action, and therefore achieve less than people who actually plan for action as part of the bigger 'let's make things happen' scheme.

A few years ago, I read the book 'Mindset' by Dr Carol Dweck, where she explains the exact same point: when you have a goal in mind, you have better chances of achieving it, if you plan for the parts where your actions depend more clearly on willpower and living things for chance. Nir Eyal, in his book, was quoting a different person, a Dr Gabriele Oettingen, who named this process: 'Mental Contrasting'

Now that we have a name, let's look at what this means:
The idea, as we said before, is that when we create a goal for ourselves, we look at the end result, and if we use 'positive thinking' (like law of attraction, manifestation, etc), we end up with something that lacks the energy for the steps that come between where we are today and where we want to be.

The idea is simple. You decide your goal (weight loss, stop smoking, get a promotion, live a healthier life, read more, etc.). Once you have your goal (you might want to make it more specific than 'weight loss' to releasing excess fat and adopting lasting, healthier eating habits, but I leave this up to you for now).

The next step is to actually sit down and imagine all the times and possibilities for things to 'go wrong'. For example, if 'stop smoking' is the goal, I might write that the temptation is highest in the morning, when I have my cigarette with my first coffee (I stopped smoking in 2001, and remember that first smoke of the day as something I couldn't imagine my life without. 25 years later, I can't believe this was ever a thing, but retrospective reflection is always easy...).

Back to the list of 'anything and everything that can go wrong'. So what you do is make a list. In one column, you write the problem, and in the other column, you write what you can do if this thing really happened when you started on your life-bettering journey.

Dr Dweck, in her book, told about an experiment they did in Scotland, with elderly people who needed hip replacement surgery. The clinic knew that because of the post-surgery pain, patients tended to refrain from movement, but they also knew that movement would help heal more quickly.

The experiment divided a group of patients into two groups. One group didn't do anything special other than the usual recovery process, but the other group was invited to create a list of what can go wrong and how to overcome it.

The people in this second group wrote things like:
- I will walk to the bus stop each morning to see my wife off as she goes to work
- I will take the longer route to the car (I may have invented this one)
- I will remind myself that the pain or discomfort means I am healing
- Etc...

The results were astonishing! The researchers found that the second group had healed and recovered 50% faster and better than the first group. People were back on their feet and back into their lives with fewer complications than the other group.

Why is that? Great question!
When we foresee what can go wrong (and this is VERY different to allowing our fears and negative voice to take over), AND we decide what we can do in that instance to overcome the temporary feeling of setback or inability to move forward, when we create a cheat-sheet of what we can do in the moment, even before it arrives, we do something incredible:

1. We remove the need to bring in willpower that will help us overcome how we're feeling (because we've prepared for it and already know what measures we can take)

2. Our brains don't need to go and rely on old patterns to move us forward, because we already indicated we are on a journey of change, and the old (limiting) patterns that worked before are no longer invited.

To summarise, I looked up the best steps to implement this method (also referred to as WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) (this part was lifted off Google):
Wish: Name a specific, challenging, yet attainable goal.
Outcome: Imagine the best result of fulfilling your wish.
Obstacle: Identify the main internal obstacle standing in your way.
Plan: Create an "If..., then..." plan to overcome the obstacle. (e.g., “If I get distracted by social media, then I will put my phone in another room and study for 20 minutes.”)

What do you think? Will you give this a go? What do you feel is one thing that keeps on bothering you in your life, which you might get rid of using this method?

I just want to mention that this can work very well with chronic conditions where you already know this is a mind-body-connection situation. When you notice that pain increases with emotions or stress, you can create this list to help you de-stress, reconnect, pause, breathe, reflect, etc, all helping you change how you view your physical symptoms.

Good luck :)
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Dottie's Corner

I keep hearing them talk about 'exam season', but I can't work out if this is a new season they bring at the end of Summer, or maybe later, around Winter???

As they were figuring this new season out, all I could feel was confusion about the added stress I was picking up on. Why stress when you can rest, is my motto for life; only these two were not resting at all! All the time studying, making notes, writing things on the big board, getting each other to ask questions about things I can't believe people feel they need to know!

As I was starting to think I would never have my person back, she finished all of her exams, and now we can cuddle on the hammock together again, and all is good in the world.

If your HUUMANS are sitting their exams now, then please remind them we dogs pick up on emotions and if they are sad, so are we! Put a brave smile on for your dog, is what I'm saying...

I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises, to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x