The contradiction of being

It's a funny thing when you realise you're not who you thought you were, or forgot who you could have been, if you know what I mean (April 19th 2026)

Ever since I was pretty small, people have always told me I was creative. Damn it, I always knew I was creative, but the thing that has always got me was that I wasn't (or didn't feel I was) good at anything creative.
I was mediocre at drawing or painting. I was all wrong at all sorts of measurements, from sculpting a realistic shape to creating technical drawings, let's just say, I wasn't IT...

Years passed, and a new realisation dawned on me about myself. I realised I was a stickler. A stickler, for the purpose of this conversation, is someone who does things by the book. Not because the book is right, but because it gives them a back to fall on if someone questions them or disputes what they say or do.

In other words, the exact opposite of being creative!

How can you be creative and go along with what you know in yourself is the 'truth' when all the time you are looking to protect yourself from other people's and their opinions or ability to send you spiralling in all sorts of directions?

I want to tell you that it's been years since I figured all this out, but I must be honest and say that this has come up recently when I was reflecting on the feelings of duality within me. Recognising that creativity is a gift I've been carrying with me since forever, and 'stickler' is just another form of fear, that somehow snuck in and took over, making me believe it was here to look after me.

When I was in my teenage years, I loved wearing 'crazy clothes'. I used to write slogans on my jeans, cut my t-shirts so they only just covered me up, bleached my trousers, and walked barefoot everywhere. I didn't give a thought to what people thought of me, or how I came across (I guess creativity has many faces after all...). Later, when I joined the national service, I needed to wear my uniform and be very neat, presentable and well within the rules of what one's outfit must be like.

The first day I came home wearing my uniform, a friend of the family looked at me and said - Who's that? This is not einav! And he pulled the jumper off my shoulder (so it was uneven) and said - right, now this is you! But I guess I never went back to myself after my service, not in terms of my clothes, and not in terms of my creativity...

I am telling you all this because I am pretty sure you have your own duality within you. Something you used to be, do or have that is no longer available, and at the same time, possesses a new inner voice that tells you that you are no longer that which you used to be. That past version of you is long ago gone, and the new you is the better version.

I want to encourage you to take a moment and reflect on what makes you who you are. Is it the latest version, or should we give more space and credit for the person you were before life taught you you are not good enough? If you changed for yourself because it felt right, you have my blessing. This is NOT what we're talking about here.

We are talking about the change that came from fear of not allowing yourself to be yourself. Maybe someone told you you were too loud, too serious, too smiley, too talkative, too quiet, not doing this enough, doing too much of that. Maybe it was your own lesson learned when you wished for something so much, and upon reflection, decided it was all you that was not good enough, and now worked to hide what you thought were flaws, but really, are the backbones of the truly awesome you, doing what you came here to do.

Take a moment, or a few, to bring up some of these memories:
- a time when you felt totally happy, just as you are
- a time when you knew you were different and liked it
- a time when you trusted, life was really quite good

Now ask yourself what changed. What made you question yourself? What made you believe that you should change? What told you that the way forward is to be like everyone else? Predictable? Normal? Meeting expectations? Following other people's opinions on how you should be, do, think, etc?

There is only one truth in this life, and it is that you are completely and utterly unique. Yes, just like everyone else... So get up and OWN it. Your strength comes from you being you - unapologetically, and with an added layer of self-conviction, self-love and pride that you are you, and there is no one else in the world who can do you better than you.

Hold your head high. Lean into you. Open up your treasure chest so everyone (including you) can enjoy your personality, characters, strengths, self-believed weaknesses, and authenticity. The highest compliment someone can give you is that you are WEIRD. Why? Because you don't fall into their expectation of NORMAL, and that's a good thing!

When I got my first job after coming to the UK, a friend sent me a card that said:
You've got the job
You've done so well!
Now go out there
And give them HELL!!!

And I hope you do the same. Not 'give them hell', but give them your authentic self! And as always, remember that kindness tops anything else, so be kind first...

This week in Healing Conversations

This week, I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr Stanley Andrisse about beating the odds after imprisonment!

Today’s discussion is a testament to the power of transformation and resilience. Our guest, Dr Stanley Andrisse, is an endocrinologist, scientist, and tenured professor who, after being incarcerated as a young adult, forged a remarkable path from prison to a PhD. Now an associate professor at Howard University College of Medicine and a national advocate for access to higher education for those impacted by the justice system, Dr Andrisse has dedicated his life to supporting others through his organisation, From Prison Cells to PhD.

In this episode, we explore the realities of the school-to-prison pipeline, the profound personal and systemic obstacles Dr Andrisse faced, and the pivotal moments that fueled his transformation behind bars. He shares how mentorship, education, and an unintentional journey of self-discovery led him from the depths of incarceration to groundbreaking work that helps thousands of formerly incarcerated people rebuild their lives through education and community.

More about Dr Andrisse:
Dr Stanley Andrisse is an endocrinologist, scientist, and tenured professor who transformed his life after serving time in prison as a young adult. Following his release, he earned a bachelor’s degree, a PhD in endocrinology and metabolism, and completed postdoctoral training at Johns Hopkins University. Today, he is an Associate Professor at Howard University College of Medicine and a national advocate for higher education access for justice-impacted individuals.

Dr Andrisse is the founder of From Prison Cells to PhD, an initiative that supports formerly incarcerated scholars pursuing higher education and careers in science, medicine, and public service. His new book, Breaking Chains, Building Futures, shares powerful stories and practical strategies for creating pathways to redemption, education, and excellence for people impacted by incarceration.

Social links:
1) Website: https://www.fromprisoncellstophd.org
2) Book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/breaking-chains-building-futures-stanley-andrisse/1146896388
3) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stanley-andrisse-mba-phd-97770160/
4) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_andrisse/
5) X (Twitter): https://x.com/Dr_Andrisse
6) YouTube (From Prison Cells to PhD): https://www.youtube.com/@fromprisoncellstophdinc8669

Next week in Healing Conversations

Next week, I'll be chatting with Janis King about 'Tarot and Transformation'
I know we've spoken about tarot a bunch now, but this conversation is different because Janis herself is different! She is a tarot teacher, author, and creator of The Life Code Tarot, an award-winning tarot deck designed to teach tarot as a living symbolic system rather than a set of memorised meanings.

You might also be interested in...

A few years ago, I was commissioned to write a 4-book series I titled 'Invest in Your Team's Confidence & Empowerment'.
The commissioning body has now changed its platform, giving me back the rights to my books.

Volume 1 of this powerful series invites you to look beneath the surface of your team’s behaviour and understand the hidden struggles that often go unseen, impostor syndrome, people-pleasing, and conflict avoidance. These patterns quietly impact confidence, communication, and performance, holding individuals and teams back from reaching their true potential.

In this book, you’ll discover practical, easy-to-apply strategies to recognise these challenges, respond with empathy, and create a psychologically safe environment where people feel valued, heard, and empowered to contribute fully. More than just improving productivity, this is about cultivating a culture of trust, alignment, and authentic confidence, where your team can move forward together with clarity, resilience, and shared success.

Link is here: https://buy.stripe.com/9B69AVeHHcXddXC9OQ9k404

Dottie's Corner

If there's one thing I've learned about HUMMANS is how weird they are! (and not in the good way that was mentioned earlier in this email!). HUUMANS have a weird sense of humour and a weird sense of smell. They seem to think washing a dog is an acceptable thing, and they seem to think it's ok to enjoy the pure sense of suffering the dog is displaying.

This is me, giving my person a hard, hot stare (Paddington reference), to teach them I am not OK with being washed - not once a month and not EVER! If they don't like my natural scent, they should get nose pegs! Not my problem!!

I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises, to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x