Red Flags 101: Insights and Considerations

What are some traits you know you have but are not sure what they mean, where they come from or why they are still in operation...?

An account I follow on Instagram (@lawofattractionlive) published a post titled 'what if birth months were red flags', and gave each of the months its own red flag...
I thought it could be interesting to open up the red flags and see how many of these you can identify in yourself. (I know you may find it easier to identify these in others, but where is the self-growth in that...?)

In no particular order (because I didn't resign to the 'per month assignment'), here are the flags... (also, 12 was too much, so I cut out a few)

1. You take care of everyone else
You know the drill... You have something planned, even something you've been looking forward to for a long time, when all of a sudden a call comes in with someone else needing something, and all of a sudden you hear yourself pushing back on your own thing, to accommodate the other. (Works really well in family dynamics...) (Out of scope is looking after young children)
Consider: Is this really the drama it is made out to be, or is your ego secretly telling you you should give yourself up in order to keep the peace, make someone happy, or be important in the relationship? What can be another way to handle this, and in that, encouraging the other person to move forward into sharing some of the responsibility? Also, can you let other people know about your needs, too?

2. You overthink everything
Ah! This old chestnut! This is when nothing can happen in your day, including conversations, ideas, suggestions, actions and similar) without the need to overthink, analyse and mostly, regret the things or the way they came to be. It's exhausting and you know it, but worrying if you didn't do it, you may get blindsided and find yourself unready and unprepared.
Consider: There is so little you can actually control in your life, and worrying about what might or might not happen is not going to change outcomes and other people's reactions and responses. Try to bring in the trust that first, things are rarely as bad outside as they are inside your head, and second, that things always happen the way they are meant to. You don't know what the outcomes are, and more likely than not, they are working in your favour!

3. You don't ask for help
Some people see asking for help as a weakness or a vulnerability, and so they just don't let the secret out that they are also just humans and can really do with some load-sharing and good old-fashioned help.
Consider: Remember how good it made you feel when that other person asked you for help? And how does it actually bring you closer? Remember how nice it was when someone accidentally helped with something and how fun it was that you didn't need to take care of it yourself? You don't have to ask for the biggest, most awkward thing, you can start with something way smaller and take it from there... This includes allowing yourself to get off your high horse and just be in the moment, where it is actually quite fun (or can be...)

4. You avoid conflict like the plague
Another favourite chestnut! The thing is, you are so good at putting yourself at the shoes of the other person, you already believe you know how devastating it will be for them to go through the conflict, so you, well, avoid it... And if it's not that, it's that childhood memory of seeing your parents fight 24/7, seeing how one or the other felt unseen and unheard, or that it all got out of hand and was the least safe place to be (physically and emotionally).
Consider: With kindness, you can pretty much say anything to anyone, but also, it's not your actual responsibility to save them from this, that or the other. People get into conflict when there is a lack of communication, and when one or more sides are refusing to budge. Find your creativity, your powers and your values to help you move past this stuckness...

5. You don't let people in easily
Like 'not asking for help', but adding a few more walls and security measures, not because you think you have something to hide, but because there is not a chance in hell you can trust someone enough to see you, respect you or love you in the way that you need, and frankly, the way so many people prior had messed this thing up!
Consider: A whole lot of our current behaviour comes from the time when, as small beings (children), we gave ourselves completely and entirely to our caregivers, only for them to mess it up in some way or another. Keeping present people out to protect from past people's behaviour is robbing you of deep and meaningful connections, like you secretly hoped for. Back then people may have been nasty on purpose, or they may have just overlooked your needs in the way you needed them met, but now you are a whole person on your own, maybe you do actually know how to protect yourself and how not to be hurt by people in the same way as once upon a time. Do you know what I mean? Try small and work your way inwards - you may find that you know how to be safe while still letting people in...
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There are clearly a lot more protective mechanisms we all adopted and adapted for ourselves, but if this little list has given you something to think about, then that, in itself, is awesome.

The other thing to keep in mind, if this is relevant to you, is that all of these (and a few more like 'perfectionism', 'people pleasing', etc) are all stress-inducers and stress, as we so well know, brings illness into the body.

I hope that you take a moment to consider the recommended considerations and remember that most of these behaviours, if not all, started as a survival mechanism to keep us safe in a world that was anything but that.

The good news? You no longer have to follow these traits, because now you can make sense of things in ways you once couldn't. So, I am not saying do a 180-degree shift, but maybe just be a little more curious about how you do and why, and when something feels right to ditch or try, then do. But also bring in the self-love you deserve, because you absolutely do!

Also, I've had some more time to think about this, and I would probably prefer calling these 'shadows' rather than 'red flags', so here we are...

This week in Healing Conversations...

This week in Healing Conversations, I was joined by Robb Owen to talk about using AI to Beat Cancer!

In today’s fascinating discussion, we sit down with Robb Owen, an engineer who survived stage four head and neck cancer and has since devoted himself to pioneering a new approach to cancer healing. Robb shares his journey, from initial diagnosis and unconventional healing instincts, to the surprising and rapid disappearance of his tumour during traditional treatment, and his relentless pursuit to understand why.

Fueled by personal experience and a deep dive into research, Robb recounts how he blended nutritional changes, supplements, and lifestyle modifications with medical treatment, ultimately leading to impressive results that stumped his doctors. Motivated by curiosity and compassion, he reverse-engineered his recovery to uncover the precise elements that contributed to his healing.

Robb explains how this journey was the foundation for "Blueprint to Beat Cancer," an initiative leveraging cutting-edge AI to develop personalised, holistic protocols for cancer patients. Together, Einav and Robb explore the promise of integrating conventional medicine with natural approaches, the vital importance of nutrition, gut health, micronutrients, and how artificial intelligence is revolutionising the way we approach disease, offering hope, empowerment, and a new path forward for those navigating a cancer diagnosis.
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More about Robb:
A year and a half ago, Robert Owen was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage four head and neck squamous cell carcinoma, a particularly aggressive and complex form of cancer with an unknown primary source. The diagnosis was daunting: HPV negative, PD-L1 negative, and considered life-limiting. Despite this, Robert had been feeling well and had noticed the lump in his neck for some time, but had not imagined it was so serious.

Although he knew little about cancer at the start, Robert chose not to panic. Instead, he trusted his instincts and committed to supporting his body's natural ability to heal, making significant changes to his diet, hydration, and physical activity. When he began conventional treatment—chemotherapy and radiotherapy—his tumour resolved remarkably within just two weeks, a highly unusual outcome for his condition. His doctors, both surprised and pleased, could not explain why Robert responded so exceptionally well to treatment, describing it as something rarely seen and not yet fully understood.

Through resilience and an open-minded approach to both lifestyle changes and medical care, Robert Owen’s experience remains an inspiring story of hope and unexpected recovery.

Social Links:
1) https://www.facebook.com/groups/464330969448466
2) https://www.blueprinttobeatcancer.org

You may also be interested in...

In January just gone, I got together with 44 other speakers and together we discussed the Art of Healing Cancer - Naturally.

The 45 interviews and the speakers' offers are available here. I recommend looking at the list of topics and taking your time going through them, as there are definitely ones that will resonate more than others, any time you get back to the list! https://www.untangledhealing.com/online-summit

Dottie's Corner

I see you walking up the stairs, it only takes me a second to work out your emotion, and whether you are happy, sad or just unhappy or unsad...

I may be more clever than many other dogs, but you probably should know that it's not often you can hide how you're feeling, even when you think you're masking it so well...

Anyway, this is me mid-scan... You see how I got you?

Client's best quotes

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I've worked with people to help them heal all sorts of medical conditions - mostly ones the doctors couldn't find drug-free solutions for. Examples?
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