Are you all in, or all out?

Are you noticing the learning opportunities hiding in plain sight, or are you missing them, believing it's all other people's problem?

Have you ever noticed how confusing it can be, when you speak with someone and all of a sudden they say - bingo! You've just hit the nail on the head!
And now you just stand there, realising you have no idea what you just said, let alone say it again, using the same or similar words! On the other hand, if I asked you to tell me the story of your biggest hurt, you will be able to bring that story up, word for word as you told it a million times before, with the same intonation and the very same emotions you experienced when it all took place.

(Please note, I am not dissing or belittling your traumas!)

Very often, when I speak with people about events involving other people, the reported chain of events focuses a lot on what the other people were doing, saying, how they were behaving and how, really, it is all external. Meaning, people are doing things to you, and they are clearly to blame.

I always like to remind people that we really get the chance to grow when we face challenges and triggers. We grow from these moments as we know we are being prepared for something that is bigger and better, and now we have the opportunity to learn from the challenge, grow and move forward, OR to stay in the story and swim in the local victimhood pool.

When you are being triggered, or are going through life challenges, and especially when these include other people, you can bet your bottom dollar that these people were only truly put there by the Universe, as it is trying to teach you a lesson (of growth...)

See this image?

This is exactly what it's all about. The other people that bug you so much, they didn't even want to be these main players in your show, but the Universe assembled them there for your own benefits, so that you can learn something you wouldn't have been able to otherwise!

So when you go all out (external) and see all their faults and problems, you are missing the point, and the invitation to go all in (internal), to be able to see your own patterns and limiting behaviours, which this situation is inviting to explore and learn from.

The funny thing is, this challenge you are going through right now, it probably happened at least 5 other times in your life - with different people and slightly different stories, but at its core, we know it's a repeat. Why? Because you will always repeat your patterns until you learn from them. That's when you get the all clear to move over to the next level of this game called life.

In other words, if you go all out, you're going to stay in this current level for years to come, and when you go all in, you get to see how you contributed to the story and not that it's your fault, but you contributed when you didn't see your powers and strength, and believed, instead you didn't have a choice, that your voice couldn't be heard, or that you were just not good enough, like all these people always told you you weren't.

The truth, is, of course, that we always have a choice, we always have another way, we are limitless, powerful and totally awesome and when we can see how come these events happened the way they did - that's when we can assume these patterns have now been signed off and we can move on to our next level adventure.

So next time, when you feel life is super challenging and you look at all the people around you and how it's all their fault, ask yourself just this one little question - and what if all this was here to teach me something I needed and couldn't find a way to learn it?

If this is happening for you and not to you, what new insights are you allowing to come in? Remember to park your ego as you're going through these questions, because the ego will always try to protect you by telling you you've been wronged and that you are indeed a victim here.

It's your choice. But wouldn't it be nice to play a little with the possibilities?

***

This week in Healing Conversations...

This week in Healing Conversations, I chatted with Mr Jay about the traumas of betrayal and how to manage them

Join us as we dive deep into the world of betrayal trauma—what sets it apart from other kinds of trauma, why it can hit us at our very core, and how it often arrives at the hands of those we trust most. Mr Jay unpacks the ways betrayal trauma alters not just the present, but how we see our past and future, and why its secretive, isolating nature can make healing such a challenge. Throughout their open and compassionate discussion, einav and Mr Jay touch on how these wounds can begin in childhood, shape our adult relationships, and cycle through our lives until we learn to identify and address the original source of the pain.

More about Mr Jay:
Mr. Jay is a Certified Betrayal Trauma Practitioner and Intrapersonal Relationship Coach. He holds a master’s degree in education, is a certified special-education teacher, ministry credentialed, and an inspirational public speaker. He is the author of a children’s book, “I Am Loved Right Where I Am”, and a betrayal trauma healing journal, “From Tears To Transformation.” He is a proud veteran of the United States military and even more proud adoptive parent.

Social Links:
1) https://www.facebook.com/MrJayRelationshipCoach
2) https://x.com/JayRelationship
3) https://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/
4) https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrjayrelationshipcoach/
5) https://www.youtube.com/@BetrayalTraumaPractitioner
6) https://www.tiktok.com/@traumapractitionerjay
7) https://www.mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/

You may also be interested in...

My Online courses are all to do with self-empowerment, confidence, growth, healing and more.
If you're interested in registering for any of them, here are the links:

Untangled Healing: https://www.untangledhealing.com/courses
Untangled Coaching: https://www.untangledcoaching.com/courses

Dottie's Corner

Many people know about the Karma, but many people get it slightly wrong when they say it means 'what goes around comes around'.
What it actually means is that every action has a subsequence, and I must tell you I didn't really understand what it all meant, until I did...

I was just sitting there being all cute and lovely, when I heard the HUMMAN saying she doesn't know how she'll ever go to University, because she will never be able to leave me.
You see? By just being so cute, I inadvertently created a situation that has a subsequent I didn't even know was coming.
What this means for you is that every story has two sides and what you think you know, you haven't yet... Be kind, be true to how you feel and always leave people feeling expansive and joyous, so you can all get on with your current soul journey as planned...

Client's best quotes

People are always curious about the kind of stuff I work with my clients on, and so each week I bring a quote that helps share the healing wins people have after we work together.
If you'd like to know what we could do together to help you on your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual journey, then get in touch, here: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

***

I've worked with people to help them heal all sorts of medical conditions - mostly ones the doctors couldn't find drug-free solutions for. Examples?
- Fibromyalgia
- Psoriasis
-Enlarged Prostate
- Cancer (breast, lung, Lymphoma)
- Colitis
- Chronic headaches /migraines
- Chronic back, neck shoulder pains
- Eczema
- Neuropathy
- IBS
- Sleep problems
- Thyroid problems
- Chronic Fatigue
- Long Covid
- Vertigo
- and so many more

To chat about your own conditions and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x